Dear blog,

Today has been a day of reflection for me. What do I want to do? Where do I want to go? Who do I want to take? When do I want to do this? How is it going to be done? That’s right, the five question words in the English language. I want to answer these, and I’ve been avoiding this so hard that I never found an answer.

I figure I’d find the answer if I just thought about it…

What: I want create video games. I played them so long in my life, I have a good grasp of what is good and what is bad. I know them like the back of my hand. It’s my passion. But plan B is to teach. I love teaching. I feel like I’m due to share knowledge to the world, since so much has been shared with me. I will never stop learning, but I do want to start teaching.

Where: Here. Right here! I have an established life, and I have settled down here in Metairie, LA. There’s no place I rather live, and no one I rather live with. I started my LLC in Louisiana, and I hope to stay here for a good amount of time. I’m not opposed to visit other places, because traveling is one of my true loves, but I have a home (and it’s not just a building that I live in) and here is where I start.

Who: Well it’ll have to be me, but I do have a friend who is filled with ideas. He helps me out, not just in idea creation, but really keeps me motivated. When I think I was at my worst of unmotivation, he called me out on it. He’s right, I’m really not going to get anywhere unless I apply myself…. and I will only apply myself if I have motivation. He’ll be someone I take along if I start moving along.

One other person would be my brother. If there is someone I have to name I have the most in common with, it’s my brother. He probably molded my dreams as much as I have for myself. One of my dreams is to own a business and to work together to make awesome games. Although it feels like a lot of time has passed already, I feel there’s still much fire left in both of us to make this dream, or any other’s we may have, come true.

When: Now is the time to start! But “when will the money come?” is the big question. The answer is, “I honestly don’t know!". I really hope I can make this a lucrative venture, but if I can’t, I may want to fall back on teaching. It’s the only other passion in life I have. If I can’t get anything done by Fall 2010, I think my life may need to turn its direction to teaching and I’ll start going for my PhD.

How: That’s really for me to know, and you to find out. I want to take it in small steps. But not small amounts of work. Each step will require much time, but I need complete steps so I feel like I’m doing something, and keep myself motivated. So, I will have to define steps for myself, and get on it!

Reflection is nice, and gives me some confidence to do what I love. I just need to shake off some negative parts of 2009 which are still attached to me in some ways, and get on with it. Tell me if there’s anything else I can do to get my goals done!

– E.T.